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The Perfect Couple! 3/13/2006
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After
a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their
life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was
driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding
road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in
distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to ...
0 Comments, 48 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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A blonde going slow 3/13/2006
A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver
in it.
"Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so
slowly?"
"Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 40, not 65."
"Oh miss, 40 is not the speed limit, that's the
name of the highway you're on!"
"Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be
more careful from now on."
At this ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Are the lights on? Blondie? 3/13/2006
A brunette is driving down the highway in a convertible
with a blonde passenger. The brunette knows that she's
speeding so she says to the blonde, "Look behind and
see if that's a cop car behind us?"
The blonde looks behind her and says, "Yes that is
a cop car behind us."
The brunette then says, "Does he have his red lights
on?"
The blond replies, "Yes..."
...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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New Rule to get Into Heaven 3/12/2006
New Law to Enter Heaven:
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided
to change the admittance policy.
The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had
to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would
go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01am, the first person came to the gates
of Heaven. The Angel at the ...
0 Comments, 57 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Sex or Golf? 3/11/2006
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One
day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,
they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and said to his lover, “Take my
shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt real good.”
She came back with them real dirty. He put them on and drove
home.
...
0 Comments, 146 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Cinco centavos for a Steak? 3/11/2006
A man walked into a restaurant, went to the bar and ordered
a beer.
"Here you are, Senor. That'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at
the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel, " the barman replied.
"Cinco centavos?" exclaimed the man. "Very
good, I'll have a medium rare steak and a bottle of ...
0 Comments, 59 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Wife cooks Huevos Rancheros 2/23/2006
A wife was making a breakfast of Huevos Ranchero for her
husband.
<br>
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
<br>
"Careful Querida, " he said, "Careful
put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too
many at once. Too many!”
<br>
The wife just looked at him.
<br>
“Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! ...
0 Comments, 87 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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Latino Cookies. 2/21/2006
Latino Cookies.
<br>
251 Words
<br>
For all the Latinos out there or those who are lucky enough
to be married to a Latino, or even to be friends of Latinos.
This is for you, Amigos. . . . Enjoy.
<br>
= = = = = = = = = = =
<br>
An elderly Latino man lay dying in his bed. While suffering
the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the ...
0 Comments, 75 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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The State's Dichotomy 2/18/2006
The State is conflicted. It doesn't want to be a n exectutioner,
but has no problem being a gay dungeon master.
<br>
Emo Phillips
2 Comments, 165 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Is Your Head Empty? 85 Words 2/12/2006
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clear to the little students she
said,
<br>
"Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you
know, would run into it, and It would turn my face red."
<br>
"Yes, " the class said.
<br>
"Can anyone tell me why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary ...
0 Comments, 94 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Dont leave home without it 2/9/2006
Make sure you have money to catch a ride home, and pay for
the meal..if you had a person do u this way you would tell
others to be ware!!!
3 Comments, 181 Views,
6 Votes
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Why Does Your Hair Turn White.... 87 Words 2/9/2006
Posted by
2/9/06
<br>
DenverColorado
<br>
Un dia una muchachita was sitting, watching her mama do
the dishes at the kitchen sink.
<br>
She noticed that her mama had several strands of white hair
sticking out of her black hair.
<br>
She asked, "Mama. Why are some of your hairs white?"
<br>
Her mama replied, "Well, every time that you do ...
0 Comments, 124 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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What Does God Look Like?. . . . . . . 78 Words 2/7/2006
78 Words
posted by
DenverColorado
<br>
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
. They were drawing and she would occasionally
walk around to see each 's work.
<br>
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
she asked, “What is the drawing about.”
<br>
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
<br>
The ...
0 Comments, 277 Views,
20 Votes
,2.61 Score
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Was Jonah swallowed by a whale.... 109 Words 2/7/2006
by
Denverhigh
<br>
A little girl said, "Yes, Senora Molina, Jonah was
swlloed by a whale and later he got out.
<br>
The teacher said, “It is physically impossible for a whale
to swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat is very small.”
<br>
The little girl said, “Jonah was swallowed by a whale my
Catholic ...
0 Comments, 185 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Cop Writes a Ticket.... 207 Words 2/6/2006
Cop Writes a Ticket
by
Denverhigh 207 Words
<br>
I went to La Bufa, my favorite Mexican restaurant in Santa
Rosa, on fourth street for lunch the other day. I was only
in there for thirty five minutes. When I came out there was
a cop writing out a parking ticket because of a expired meter.
<br>
I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about
giving a senior a ...
0 Comments, 297 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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liver and cheese 1/11/2006
School teacher asked the class if any one could make a sentence
with liver and cheese.
They asked Brenda, so she said, "My mother made some
sandwiches with liver and cheese."
Then they ask Marcos and he said he give it a try. He said, "Liver
alone cheese mine.
1 Comments, 413 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
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smoking 1/2/2006
Does smoking cause cancer or it is a dillusion of grandeur.
Most habitual smokers agree you will live up to 90 years
of age like their grandparents
1 Comments, 202 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Old man 12/11/2005
This old man from Florida was having intimate problems
with his wife. He went to the doctor and bought some viagra.
He went home to see his wife and took his pills, but they got
stuck in his throat. He got a stiff neck for 2 weeks.
0 Comments, 163 Views,
13 Votes
,1.47 Score
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blondy 12/4/2005
Why do blondes like BMW cars? Because it is the easiest one
to spell.
2 Comments, 283 Views,
10 Votes
,1.39 Score
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loan 11/25/2005
If you loan a friend $10 and you never see him again. It was
well worth it.
1 Comments, 389 Views,
16 Votes
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Who wants a raise? 11/16/2005
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to ...
1 Comments, 321 Views,
23 Votes
,5.70 Score
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Blonde Jokes 11/9/2005
Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
1 Comments, 2025 Views,
15 Votes
,1.14 Score
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Accountant 11/3/2005
A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one
evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old,
and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel
with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."
<br>
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting
for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too
am 54 years old, and by the time you ...
0 Comments, 453 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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Pharmacist 11/3/2005
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event,
the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have
sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but
he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy
to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about
half an hour. He tells the boy ...
0 Comments, 788 Views,
50 Votes
,6.71 Score
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Old hillbilly 10/13/2005
A old Kentucky hillbilly once said, "Water is always
deeper where it still."
0 Comments, 666 Views,
14 Votes
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Irish lepercon 10/9/2005
A lepercon once said, "You get freckles when you lie
alot, and get scars when you lie to your mother".
0 Comments, 241 Views,
7 Votes
,0.75 Score
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gentlemen and shivilry 9/25/2005
This young man was rolling down the highway, when he saw
a young damzel in distress.She was parked on the shoulder
waiting for help.
The young man pulled over and saw that she needed her tire
replaced with the spare.
She asked him if he could help. He agreed as any gentleman
would, so he changed the flat tire.
Just as he was finishing letting the car down she asked him
to be gentle ...
0 Comments, 401 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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If I Can Make You Smile Then I Got You 9/16/2005
Humor is one of the most important things in a relationship.
The man or woman usually has more fun with the person who
has a sense of humor, rather then a body of steel. Have you
ever found yourself attracted to someone who just doesn't
fit your profile. You begin to ask yourself why. The answer
to that shouldn't be money or what he or she can do for
me, it should be because of the way he ...
2 Comments, 2652 Views,
9 Votes
,5.35 Score
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mushroom 8/14/2005
School teacher in the 6th grade asked her students to make
a sentence using the word mushroom
The littlea blonde girl said I can do it. Then she said, We
put mushroom in our salad for lunch.
The teacher asked the little mexican boy and he said he would
give it a try.
My dad said we could not have anyone sleeping over because
we do not have mushroom.
0 Comments, 278 Views,
11 Votes
,0.18 Score
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screw..... 8/13/2005
Back when rock n roll was the thing, guys wore blue jeans
and leather jackets and girls wore skirts with puddles
on them. Jimmy went to pick up his Date at her house.... and
the Father open the door, "well Hello there, you must
be jimmy", He said. "she will be down in a couple
of minutes..."; "ok thanks" jimmy said,
"my loves to screw, he screws all night.....I
hope you like to screw ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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