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IMMIGRATION 8/9/2005
Mujibar was trying to get into the USA legally through Immigration.
The
>Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all
the tests, except there is one
>more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter the United
States of
>America.
>
>Mujibar said, "I am ready."
>
>The officer said, "Make a sentence using the
words Green, Pink and Yellow."
>
>Mujibar ...
0 Comments, 384 Views,
12 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: 8/9/2005
Two prostitutes were riding around town
with a sign on top of their car which said:
" Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign,
stopped them and told them
they'd either have to remove the sign
or go to jail.
<br>
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"JESUS SAVES"
<br>
One of the girls asked the officer,
"How come you don't ...
0 Comments, 335 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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CLEVER ADVICES 8/7/2005
DON'T...
...do everything today. Save some mistakes for tomorrow.
...itch all over. Learn to itch where you can scratch.
<br>
NEVER...
...put off untill tomorrow what you can't shove onto
someone else's desk.
...try to make people feel at home. If they wanted that,
they'd have stayed there.
THE BEST WAY TO...
...change a woman's mind is ...
4 Comments, 490 Views,
24 Votes
,5.52 Score
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The use of foreign language 8/6/2005
Little mouse: -Mammy, Who's saying something that
i don't understand at all?
Mother mouse: -Silent! It's our enemy. Don't
go out of our house. That dirty cat is threatening us.
Little mouse: -How do you understand what he said?
Mother mouse: -It's the best example for the use of
learning foreign language.
0 Comments, 172 Views,
6 Votes
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golf 7/10/2005
A lady and her caddy were playing golf.
The lady made a comment that she got bit by a bee.
The caddy replied, where did you get bit.
The lady responded that somewhere between the first hole
and the second hole.
The caddy looked down in deep thought, hmmmm I know why,
first of all your stance is to wide.
0 Comments, 331 Views,
0 Votes
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Will 1/26/2005
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
0 Comments, 68 Views,
6 Votes
,0.23 Score
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couple 1/20/2005
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders
why.
1 Comments, 124 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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As 1/20/2005
As deep as the ocean;
As the wide as the sea;
Please brush and floss
And give love to me.
0 Comments, 56 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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A Guy's Job 1/20/2005
A guy sticks his location,
In a girl's destinstion,
To increase the population,
For the next generation.
Do you get my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?
<br>
E.U
0 Comments, 65 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Luv Ya Darling 1/20/2005
Of course I luv ya darling
You're a bloody top notch bird
And when I say yur gorgeous
I mean every single word
<br>
So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab
<br>
So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I get my arms around there
0 Comments, 58 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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the truth 1/20/2005
I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got "dimples" on ya thighs
<br>
I swear on my nana's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought u was as good as I
Was ever gonna get
<br>
No matter wot u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on
And get me another beer!
0 Comments, 49 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Only You! 1/20/2005
You turn me on, you handsome hunk
With your sunken, hairless chest
In your skinny white arms
I feel safe from all harm
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
<br>
Your beard is long and full of crumbs
From all the fast food there you've dropped
And with your big sloppy kiss,
I know the meaning of bliss
Oh stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
1 Comments, 136 Views,
8 Votes
,1.62 Score
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Embarrassing moments!! 1/18/2005
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for
a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked
back out and never went back. My husband didn't say
a word...he knew better.
0 Comments, 104 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Embarrassing moments #2 1/18/2005
Have you ever asked your a question too many times?
My three-year-old had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with
a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old ,
and she was clean.
<br>
...
0 Comments, 123 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Embarrassing moment # 3 1/18/2005
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my decided
to release some pent-up energy and run amok. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she
did not start behaving "right now" she would
be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said
in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't
let me go ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Fleeing 1/18/2005
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife
suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing
diapers. "I'm busy, " he said. "I'll
do the next one." The next time came around and she
asked again. The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked
at his wife. "I didn't mean the next diaper. I
meant the next baby."
0 Comments, 294 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Warehouse 1/18/2005
These two guys go to a whorehouse. The first guy goes in then
comes out and says, "My wife is better." The
second guy goes in then comes out and says, "You know
what? Your wife IS better."
0 Comments, 267 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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"Men" 1/18/2005
MENtal anxiety
MENtal breakdown
MENstrual cramps
MENopause...
0 Comments, 62 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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P.E.A 1/18/2005
A guy who suffered from premature ejaculation, decided
to call P.E.A (premature ejaculators anonymous)and booked
an appointment, when there he noticed that he was the only
one in the room surrounded by empty chairs he thought; 'looks
like I came too soon'.
0 Comments, 114 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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Country fair 1/13/2005
A man took his wife to the county fair and one of the first
exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went
up to the first pen and noticed a sign attached that said,
"This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife
playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He
mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that
said, "This bull ...
0 Comments, 211 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Variations of 69 1/2/2005
There is a 96, that’s when you have a fight.
<br>
There is a 68, that's when you do me and I owe you one.
<br>
A 77 is a lesbian act. Because it is like a 69, but you get eight
(ate) twice.
<br>
A 70 is a 69 for gay men because there is an extra unit involved.
<br>
6.9 is a good thing interrupted by a period.
<br>
Q o you know ...
0 Comments, 274 Views,
8 Votes
,5.56 Score
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Looking 12/23/2004
A woman posted an ad in a newspaper saying , ’looking for
a husband’. Next day she received hundreds of replyies
all sayng the same thing, ‘ You can have mine’.
0 Comments, 365 Views,
15 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Invitation to Dinner 12/15/2004
"Honey, " said this husband to his wife, "I
invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't
go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel
like cooking fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting ...
0 Comments, 317 Views,
24 Votes
,4.27 Score
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If you are male... 11/16/2004
It's the age of younger, fitter men...(damn it!)
<br>
If you are male, and you've finally passed the final
blushes of adolescence, at oh, say, fifty or so, you've
learned that experience is worth more than its weight in
returnable beer cans, not to mention gold or silver. The
blonde wisp on the back of some guy's ride is usually
the high maintenance eye-candy she looks like. After ...
0 Comments, 192 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
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Find some real Jewelry ha, ha, ha 5/10/2004
A woman goes to the doctor's office.
<br>
"Doctor, I've got a strange problem I need your
opinion on."
<br>
"Could you describe the symptoms to me?" he
asked.
<br>
"Well, it's easier if I show you, " she
said and, standing up,
proceeded to undress. When she was down to her underwear
she
sat on the edge of the examining table and spread her legs
to
...
0 Comments, 136 Views,
79 Votes
,6.36 Score
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Being a gentelman can get you in troblem tooooooooo 5/10/2004
In England from an actual trial:
<br>
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a
bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her
seat
and he seemed more amused.
<br>
She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out
laughing. She had him arrested.
<br>
When ...
0 Comments, 127 Views,
121 Votes
,7.92 Score
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relationship with daily life 5/10/2004
I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only
about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a damn cop writing
out a parking ticket.
<br>
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about
giving
a gal a break?" He ignored me and continued writing
the ticket.
So I called him a pencil-dicked Nazi. He glared at me and
started writing another ticket for ...
0 Comments, 112 Views,
31 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Marketing and relationships 5/10/2004
The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING.
However,
people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing."
<br>
Well, here it is:
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party.
You go
up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct
Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a ...
0 Comments, 397 Views,
105 Votes
,7.37 Score
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Me enamore de El selo digo? 7/22/2001
Mi problema es el siguiente en el 99 mi aniga me presento
a su novi en ese entonses solo esabes lo vi ella lo dejo por
otro pero quedaron como amigos ella y yo nos ablamos cada
1bes cada 2meses el caso es que ase 3 meses (2001) me ablo
y el esta en la linia y lo salude estabamos platicando los
3 pero ella tubo que cogar so nos quedamos el y yo en la lina
alcabo del tiempo el siguio ...
0 Comments, 9 Views,
25 Votes
,0.37 Score
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Que malooo... 4/23/2001
Quieren saber un mal chiste que le alegre el día. Que hizo
una bala durante 4 horas en la cabeza de una mujer tratando
de encontrar el cerebro... Otro, en que se parecen los hombres a los teléfonos públicos,
es que hay dos tipos, los buenos están ocupados y los otros
no sirven...
0 Comments, 46 Views,
16 Votes
,0.04 Score
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